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How To Tell Your Child You’re Separating

How To Tell Your Child You’re Separating

Talking to your child about separation and divorce can be difficult and very emotional for both of you, but it is especially important to let your child know;

  • That you both still love them
  • That you both still want to spend time with them
  • That they’re not to blame

Give your child factual information about:

  • Where they will live
  • How they will spend time between you
  • Seeing other family members
  • Changes to school
  • Spending time with friends
  • Keeping up or changes to activities

How to tell your child you’re separating:

  • Find a space that is free from distractions. Turn off mobile phones, TV’s or other mobile devices.
  • Choose a time that is good for you both.
  • If you can it is best to tell your child together that you have decided to separate. This will allow your child to hear the same message from you both and also leave little place for them to hope that there is a chance that one parent is mistaken.
  • Speak to your child together where possible.
  • Agree what to say beforehand.
  • If you cannot agree because of hurt or anger try to bear in mind that children can become very confused when one parent is blamed for the separation. Try to see things through your child’s eyes….
  • Talk about how life will change for your child.
  • Let your child know they are not to blame.
  • Before speaking to your child (together or apart) think about how you will cope with their emotions—prepare yourself that they may become emotional and try to anticipate and answer any questions in the best way that you can.
  • Reassure you child that you love them.
  • Try to listen to your child and remove your own emotions and feelings. This can be hard, but your child will benefit from feeling listened to even if you are unable to make changes immediately.


If your child is struggling to come to terms with your separation, if you and your ex partner are finding it difficult to work together during this difficult time or if you would just like more information call us on 01429 891444.